Finding A Pack: Why Is It So Hard for Us as Gen Z?

Heads up, though, naturally with a post like this, things are going to be heavy, and some people may not be able to handle it.

Loneliness. It’s a common thing in today’s world, with a large amount of my generation (that being Gen Z) experiencing it¹. I, definitely, am not immune to it, with it affecting me severely for years. Even when I know I have friends, my enjoyment in the most niche and obscure things usually isolates me to this room, this desk even.

I can only speak for myself when I say this, but, while my surroundings are relatively clean and tidy, my mental health is not at all ideal. I commonly think to myself that I am doing all of this for nothing, and ever since my mental health took a nosedive after the end of June last year, I have found myself leaning more and more existentially nihilistic which is not too dissimilar to others my age².

I even wrote multiple poems expressing this. Here is one example³:

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there is no point,
we will just be working ourselves to death,
all of us,
all of us,
there is nothing.

Social media doesn’t help in this trend when we are being fed addicting algorithms on TikTok ⁴ and other platforms like it. We are having our brains hijacked. Now, I don’t use TikTok, but YouTube Shorts has the same effect. Being fed increasingly verbose and corrupting content at shorter and shorter ‘doses’ is killing my attention span, I know that, but with the hobbies I have, it quickly gets eaten up and filled out again.

This, in essence, is one of the myriad of reasons why we as a generation are not able to find a pack - be it a community, a friend group or even, if we were to really lean into the analogy, a family. I used the analogy since I have a special interest on lycanthropy and wolves, but I do think it fits well nonetheless as we humans need a community, a tribe⁵. We, as a society, are like a wolf pack in the sense that, without one, we wouldn’t survive. Just look at the time humanity almost went extinct⁶ and you’ll (probably) understand.

Reasons Why We Are Lonely

Now, I have already touched briefly on why we are lonely as a generation, but I haven’t touched on the how, so here’s how!

The Rise of Smartphones

(image grabbed from here)

“There’s an App For That”

We all know them, we’re all addicted to them.

In a world seemingly hyperconnected, paradoxically, we find ourselves increasingly isolated. The rise of smartphones, chronicled in articles such as The Atlantic’s 2017 piece⁷, plays a pivotal role in this intricate narrative. These sleek, handheld devices that promise connection have, in many ways, become conduits for disconnection.

The allure of online communities can be powerful, drawing individuals with shared interests into a virtual pack - bubbled silos of community. However, the transient nature of digital interactions often leaves us yearning for more substantial connections.

While smartphones offer a window to a vast digital realm, they simultaneously act as barriers to genuine human connection. The addictive algorithms that govern platforms like TikTok and YouTube Shorts contribute to the isolation paradox. As we consume byte-sized content, our attention spans dwindle, and the very fabric of sustained meaningful connections frays. We are drifting further and further into our heads, behind a screen. It does not help that screens that strap to your face now are ubiquitous, too.

Social Media’s Domination

Ah, so we’ve arrived at this topic. Let’s dissect it.

Social media provides a platform for connection, self-expression, and information-sharing, fostering a sense of community among peers. However, several negative aspects can influence mental health.

One notable concern is the prevalence of cyberbullying and online harassment. The constant exposure to curated, idealised versions of others’ lives can lead to social comparison and feelings of inadequacy. This phenomenon is often referred to as “social media envy,” where individuals may experience anxiety and low self-esteem by comparing their lives to the seemingly perfect lives presented on social media platforms.

Moreover, the addictive nature of social media can contribute to increased screen time, potentially leading to sleep disturbances and a sedentary lifestyle. The fear of missing out (FOMO) is another psychological impact, where individuals feel anxiety or sadness when perceiving that others are having rewarding experiences without them.

The Pandemic’s Chokehold

Let’s not forget the coronavirus that completely shut down the world!

The COVID-19 pandemic has had profound and far-reaching effects on individuals’ lives, society, and mental health. The disruptions caused by the pandemic, such as lockdowns, social distancing measures, and economic uncertainties, have contributed to various challenges to mental well-being.

One significant impact is the heightened levels of stress and anxiety. The fear of contracting the virus, concerns about the health of loved ones, and the overall uncertainty about the future have been major stressors. Additionally, the isolation resulting from lockdowns has led to feelings of loneliness and depression for many individuals.

The pandemic has also accentuated existing social inequalities, with marginalised communities often disproportionately affected. Economic hardships, loss of employment, and educational disruptions have added to the mental health burden, particularly for those already facing socio-economic challenges.

Time Perception Shifts

I struggled a lot with this, in particular. I was 14 when COVID kicked the world down, and now I’m 18 with a lot more anxiety.

The pandemic has indeed had a notable impact on individuals’ perception of time. For many people, the experience of time during the pandemic has been characterized by a unique blend of acceleration and deceleration.

On one hand, the repetitiveness of lockdowns, the monotony of daily routines, and the limited variety of activities may have led to a sense of time dragging. Days might have felt longer as people faced challenges in finding new and engaging ways to spend their time.

On the other hand, the rapid changes and uncertainties brought about by the pandemic could have created a feeling of time slipping away. The constant adjustments to new information, evolving guidelines, and the overall unpredictability of the situation might have made it difficult for individuals to establish a stable and consistent sense of time.

Moreover, the blurring of boundaries between work and personal life due to remote work and changes in daily schedules may have contributed to a distorted perception of time. The lack of distinct transitions between different environments, such as commuting to the office, can impact the brain’s internal clock and make time seem less defined.

A Personal Analysis

I have, as I said, struggled a lot with the complete loss of time perception. In 2023 and now leading into 2024, I have been tracking my media consumption habits (in particular, supernatural fiction) and here is what I have realised:

When I do the maths on the amount of time, it comes out to be over a month. I was shocked when I found this out, as this is not something I anticipated at all.

What Can We Do?

In the face of the challenges posed by the modern world, especially for us teens and young adults grappling with loneliness and its various causes, it becomes crucial to explore avenues for improvement. Addressing this issue requires a multi-faceted approach that encompasses both individual actions and societal changes.

Appreciate In-Person Connection

One strategy involves a conscious effort to foster in-person connections. While digital platforms offer a semblance of connection, they often fall short in providing the depth and authenticity needed for meaningful relationships. Encouraging activities that bring people together physically, such as community events, clubs, or even casual gatherings, can help break the barriers of virtual communication.

Promote Healthy Digital Well-being

Given the undeniable role of smartphones and social media in contributing to feelings of isolation, promoting digital well-being becomes imperative. This involves being mindful of one’s screen time, actively managing app usage, and seeking a healthy balance between online and offline activities. Embracing activities that nurture mental well-being, like reading, outdoor pursuits, or hobbies, can help counter the negative effects of excessive screen time.

Cultivate Supportive Online Communities

While acknowledging the pitfalls of certain online platforms, it’s essential to recognize the positive potential of the digital realm. Actively seeking out and participating in online communities that align with one’s interests can provide a sense of belonging. Platforms that facilitate constructive discussions and shared experiences can serve as virtual packs, fostering connections that transcend the limitations of physical boundaries.

Prioritise Mental Health Education

To address the root causes of loneliness, prioritising mental health education is paramount. Understanding the impact of factors like smartphone usage, social media dynamics, and external stressors is crucial for individuals navigating the complexities of the modern world. Educational initiatives, both formal and informal, can empower individuals to make informed choices and build resilience against the challenges to mental well-being.

You’re Not Alone

Helplines

There are multiple online helplines and resources if you are struggling, I have correlated some international ones.

United Kingdom

1. Mind: Offers information and support for mental health, with a website full of resources and a helpline open Monday-Friday from 09:00-18:00.
2. Rethink Mental Illness: Provides information and support for people affected by mental illness, including their families and friends. They also offer advocacy and campaigning work.
3. The Mix: Provides support for young people aged 16-25, offering confidential information and advice on everything from mental health to relationships and housing.

United States

1. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The largest mental health organisation in the US, offering support, education, and advocacy for individuals and families affected by mental illness.
2. The Jed Foundation: Works to protect emotional health and prevent suicide among teens and young adults. They offer resources and programs for students, parents, and educators.
3. The Trevor Project: Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth. They offer a 24/7 helpline, online chat, and texting service.

Others

There is also the International Association for Suicide Prevention(IASP) directory of helplines, and the World Health Organisation’s Mental Health team.

Self-Care

While online options are great, you may want to take a walk in the park or go to a local community centre in your town or city. Remember, in-person is better than online.

If you are able, you may also want to spend time with your family, as, in my experience, just being with family can help immensely. Have a chat with them, it can help with processing your emotions.

I am sorry for not providing any other country besides the UK and US, but I hope these resources are good enough for you, reader.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the quest for connection and the struggle against loneliness among the Gen Z cohort is a complex narrative shaped by various societal and technological factors. Loneliness, as experienced and expressed by individuals like myself, is not merely a personal woe but a shared struggle that echoes across our generation.

The emergence of smartphones, touted as instruments of connection, paradoxically contributes to isolation. The addictive nature of digital platforms, exemplified by the alluring yet insidious algorithms of TikTok and YouTube Shorts, pulls us into a realm where connection becomes fleeting and substance is sacrificed for brevity.

Simultaneously, the dominance of social media, while offering a virtual platform for connection, introduces its own set of challenges. The curated perfection showcased on these platforms fuels social comparison, leading to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. The addictive loops and the fear of missing out (FOMO) further exacerbate the isolation paradox, highlighting the dark side of the digital age.

The COVID-19 pandemic, acting as a seismic disruptor, casts a long shadow on our collective mental well-being. The upheavals it brings - from lockdowns to economic uncertainties - intensify feelings of stress, anxiety, and, above all, loneliness. The distortion of time perception, a shared experience among many of us, underscores the unique challenges posed by the pandemic era.

However, amidst the challenges, avenues for improvement emerge. A conscious effort to appreciate in-person connections, promote healthy digital well-being, cultivate supportive online communities, and prioritize mental health education can collectively pave the way forward. The significance of these measures lies not just in alleviating individual loneliness but in fostering a societal shift towards genuine connection.

In essence, the conclusion to the exploration of loneliness in the context of Gen Z is a call for collective reflection and action. The quest for a pack, a community, or a tribe is not insurmountable, and the narrative of loneliness can be rewritten through shared efforts and a commitment to authentic connection.